Ghosting

Ghosting happens when a person simply disappears from the life of someone close to them, without any explanation, sometimes without any warning signs.

I have ghosted a few times, and I am not proud of it. Ghosting is one of the most heart wrenching things to do, I know this because I have also been ghosted on.

When I couldn’t keep seeing my ex I knew this but didn’t confront it. I took advantage of an argument we had and disappeared even after texts and calls from him. Now I think about it, my reason for ghosting was that I was naive and really cared only about my self at that point in my life. Although we did had a conversation long after, I still feel bad for my ghosting attitude.

PT-78
Usually ghosting starts from excuses, then fading out, then vanishing completely. This does not provide a solution to any looming problems. It’s not healthy for the person being ghosted nor for the person doing the ghosting either. Having unbearable and uncomfortable conversations is a skill we need to develop instead of walking away from it.

I find that the effect of ghosting not only leaves you with a pricking conscience, it completely sours relationships which might otherwise birth other things in future. In the case where I was being ghosted, this person brought a proposal on a business venture he wanted us to work on. I just couldn’t get past his ghosting stunt, and I didn’t think he and his idea was worth my money nor effort which was greatly influenced by how I felt. Unfortunately ghosting isn’t exclusive to opposite sex or lovers, it also happens between same sex relationships. A female friend of mine ghosted me. I texted and called to no reply, I was deeply hurt and still do because I really liked her. I sometimes wish we can have one last conversation for closure.

Since my last ghost, I have decided that if I didn’t want to see a person or be friends with someone I will be upfront and initiate a conversation about it. Own up and take responsibility because no one deserves to worry and blame themselves if they could have done more, what they had done wrong, if it was their fault or worse if they weren’t cared about. No one deserves the emotional damage that comes after it.

I may not be solving the entire human emotional problems, but I am starting with ghosting which is definitely being a better human.

What are your thoughts and take on ghosting? Have you been ghosted or done the ghosting? Please share below.

xoxo

Pamela.

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  • Ghosting is something I am guilty of,but I am working on stopping that.Amazing blog!

    http://Www.tianablacx.wordpress.com

    • Thank you darling. I understand, it’s a process.

  • veronica clay

    Really liked this post. Bcos am guilty of this post…and also been a victim..but sometimes it comes with pride.we learn everyday.thanks Pam.

    • You’re welcome V. Yes I agree, it does come with pride sometimes.

  • Banji

    Ghosting happens everyday in life and sincerely it’s easier to do than having some awkward or difficult conversations. That doesn’t make it right bit it’s part of life.

    • So true happens everyday. But bringing to our consciousness should make us try to do better.

  • apih joy

    I haven’t but will love to

    • Omg! Lmao! Are you kidding? Which are you going to do, ghost someone or be ghosted?

  • Derah

    Guilty as charged! Been a victim too.
    I guess its done cos you don’t care anymore about the way the person you’re ghosting feels and you maybe think it would do them more harm than good. But it really hurts when you’re the victim..
    Whichever ways.. this is a nice post and I’m gonna make more efforts to get closure for every failed attempt at friendship.. Kudos..

    • I truly get how you feel. And I do agree with you on making attempts to get closure, best way forward. Thank you Derah, see you around on here.

  • LeeAnnsCloset

    Sometimes people just rather avoid the drama and bad vibe that comes from having awkward conversations.. But everyone knows the key to growth is communication and understanding of people and even things around one..Great write-up Pam.. Can absolutely relate!

    • Yea they want to avoid the drama, in reality even the awkward conversations benefits both parties. Thanks Leelee, hope you’ll be on here often.

  • Olaitan

    Lol. I ghost people a lot and when I get ghosted, I just move on.. No hard feelings.
    Laitanbee.blogspot.com

    • Lool. That’s deep, I’ll try not to say you’re a guru ghoster. Lol.